I’m not exactly sad

I don’t know what the words are to explain this feeling I have

I’m just tired I can’t seem to motivate myself or give a damn

I stay in bed all day and I’m up all night

I’ve tried to fix it and I can’t and you know that’s alright

I’m not exactly sad

I just feel kind of empty and secluded from the world

I’m just bored and it seems like my friends are busy and I feel unheard

Then again that’s my fault because I don’t know how I feel so how can I explain it

I have all these plans and goals that I’m trying to make real but it’s hard to do that when I can’t move

I’m not exactly sad

I just feel really stuck and it’s not that I want to die

I want to be alive

I’m not exactly sad

I’m just beating myself up over the things I haven’t accomplished

Instead of focusing on the things, I can accomplish now

I’m mad at myself for taking care of myself and taking time to myself

But Why?

I’m not exactly sad

But I’m waiting for change to happen instead of making it myself

Because I’m scared of what would happen if I stopped and took time to myself

But I’m not exactly sad

I’m just waiting to be okay.