What’s this new fashion trend sweeping the country? Have you heard of the “groutfit”? This mix of the words between “gray” and “outfit” is the latest trend. The criteria is simple; wear two pieces of gray clothing to complete a chic monochromatic outfit. Here at Kennedy, groutfits are everywhere you look. 

The groutfit is popular with today’s youth because most pieces of gray clothing are comfortable, like sweatpants and hoodies. You know, something you would wear on a rainy Sunday inside. Personally, I wear groutfits often, as most of my wardrobe is gray, and I choose cozy clothes over traditional fashionable ones.

When every trend has its turn in the spotlight, haters roll in. Some people will outright refuse to wear a groutfit, as the style is too ugly for them. I avoid those people.

Groutfits, at their core, are simple loungewear for the laid back, simple-living person. They were never meant to break the fashion scene as something mind-blowing. That’s the beauty of groutfits; they are simple and effortless. A carefree, informal outfit. You wouldn’t have to plan this outfit the night before, nor would you wear it to the Met Gala (unless you really want to). It’s an outfit you pick out of your dresser when you feel like it’s a “No Bones Day.”

Remember the snow day we got? I wore my snug groutfit and felt enlightened. I felt as if my mind was freed from all the worrisome events you see in the news. You know in popular movies where the person is getting a massage, cucumbers on their eyelids, a state of complete relaxation? That’s me in a groutfit.

Everyday people come up to me with a ponzi scheme like an NFT, or a dumb “big new thing” like Dogecoin. You know, earthly concerns that unenlightened meat sacks would think about. Do you know what I do when they start talking? 

I immediately space out, wait until they stop talking, then tell them about groutfits. The next time I see them, I ask how it felt to wear a groutfit for the first time. They start talking all about how they “don’t appreciate me walking to their house at 6 a.m.,” and how I’m “going to be in prison for this.” You know, how I changed their life with this idea.

If you are going through something, don’t eat a Snickers bar. Wear a groutfit. Change your life. The groutfit is the closest thing to heaven on earth, the most bliss you will ever feel. Next time you wake up and say “Meh,” wear a groutfit. Embrace the lifestyle, and let your concerns melt away. Be enlightened and consumed by the groutfit.